So I’m starting to reach my limit when it comes to school. I’m not sure how long I can keep going on with school. And I’ve also wanted to work as a waitress at a small Caffeé or something. My foster parents says that life without an education is hard, and that tells me that today’s community is fucked up. It’s no wonder why young people who’s too exhausted commit suicide.
So I will prove them wrong. I’m going to tell them (when the time and situation is right) that I will quit school and start working. And later, if I have enough money, I’ll create a small caffeé that’s a little punk for younger people, and which is a lot cheaper so people with small income can afford it. I think I’ll name it something cool… Maybe a rip off from “Hard Rock Caffeé”, “Punk Rock Caffeé”… With posters of all the good bands like Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, Asking Alexandria, Suicide Silence, Bring Me The Horizon, Black Veil Brides… Think I actually can make that happen… “The Punk Rock”?
Think I have a new dream guys…
I had a sweet dream this night. But I woke up to a nightmare.
The clock is 2am. The ritalin my bestie gave me this evening is still burning in my vaines, and is keeping me awake. I can feel what it does to me. I feel awake, ready to action, my heart beats harder in my chest than usual, I have cold feet and hands, I feel scared and yet exited at the same time. All this while I’m here in the guest bed of my little sister.
Our foster mom have had a visitor which borowed my bed and room. She left after dinner the day before, but my sister thinks it so fun that I sleep in her room and that she gets to wake me up. And I don’t really want to take that fun away from her. So I might stay her untill friday. Or I move my stuff tomorrow.
Just a few hours ago, around 8.50 pm I came home after being out with friends. I knew they would notice I had taken something, because I was pale and had too clear eyes. So I didn’t hesitate to tell the truth. Actually, I decided that since I still was so high on ritalin, I could just as well open up. And I did. I told her absolutely everything that was going on in my life. Everything from school, to future dreams, to smoke addiction, to friends and family.
Conclution: I need space. I need time. To think about who I really want to be, what I want to be… My life is a mess. I’ve been throwing precious time away on gaming/series/movies… I’m 17, soon 18. And I need to know who I am by then. I need to know my place. Can I change the world? Or just someones world? Will I be leading this country? Or just a small store?
It sucks growing up, but yet.. All the possibilities~~
and they were roommates
oh my god they were roommates…
